Behavioral problems can be a problem for many parents and there are those who at some point give up. It just must not happen. Behavioral problems indicate (most of the time) a deeper problem in the child and a parent who gives up solving the problem, actually gives up a part of his child. There is no such thing as a problematic child so we put that word in quotes in the title. There is a child who is not good for a certain reason and he radiates what he feels through his behavior.
Even if you have (and we know you have) the best intentions, sometimes the child is just stubborn and impossible to reach. This can lead to shouting, quarreling and even punishment. These things create a tense atmosphere in the home and no one wants that to happen.
If your child has behavioral problems, there is a way to solve it. In the following article, we will present to you, parents of “problematic” children, 4 pleasant and simple ways in which you can change your child’s behavior so that he will still be an independent child but one who will respect your authority as a parent.
Behavioral problems – ways to improve behavior
- Directly and change attitude
- Seek to understand and not blame
- Be empathetic
- Patience (and a lot!)
When your child, doing everything to annoy and upset, applying one of these ways can help understand what the deeper problem is, solve it and release from him (and you) a lot of discomfort and anger. These ways work and there is evidence for this from testimonies of different parents.
The positive ways that we will immediately present to you, turn parenting from a state of instructions and commands to a state of cooperation with the children. It contributes to the cozy atmosphere at home and in the family fabric.
Behavioral problems – directness and change of attitude
These two elements need to come together. Let’s do a moment of experimentation – do not think of a huge green lion. Close your eyes and upload a picture of what comes to mind. What came to your mind? Apparently, a huge green lion because that’s what we put in your head.
This is how your child’s head works. If you tell him not to do something, he will do exactly what you asked him not to do. Therefore, an approach to change and directness is needed. Do not tell him what not to do, tell him what to do. Most parents ask their child not to do something, he does the exact opposite and then the nerves go up and so do the tones.
Instead of saying to the child – “Do not pull the dog’s tail”, say “Let me show you how you pet the dog nicely”. That way, the child will want to prove to you that he can do what you asked him to do. The change in attitude, directness and beautiful request, will soften the child a little and he will no longer resist.
Also, try to understand that if you are telling the child not to do something, it is more difficult for him to understand than asking to do something. If you told him not to do something, he should first understand what he is doing wrong, then understand what you want him to do and do. When you ask the child not to do something, you make a serious turn instead of going straight. This way tries to change exactly the This matter.
Behavioral problems – seek to understand and not blame
It is easier to blame and give reasons for the child’s bad behavior than to try and understand why he is behaving in this way. “He probably wants to annoy me on purpose, he’s probably just mean to his brother / sister, he does not appreciate what he has” and more. These are just some of the reasons why parents give themselves a reason for a child’s behavior.
This is not your fault, we are used to the fact that if someone behaves badly, it is for some bad reason. In addition, many times, our society makes us think that if the child behaves badly, the parents are to blame. This is simply not true. The assumption we need to put in our head is that if a child is behaving badly, it is because there is a deeper problem and if the parent manages to dub the child to understand what the problem is, he is a parent who can help the child and teach him a lesson for life.
Studies have shown that everything eventually drains into the media. Sometimes children do not know how to explain what they want and what bothers them and in fact their bad behavior, they try to show parents that there is a certain problem. When parents downshift and try to figure out what’s going on, they’ll be able to solve the problem faster and more effectively than if they yell at the child. This way, you will also show them how to communicate correctly and well so that they will also understand them better and they too will get what they are looking for faster.
Behavioral problems – empathy
Creating empathy for your child is not as simple as it sounds. It may be your child and you love him with all your heart, but because you are the one who suffers from his behavior, you think the bad things we talked about at the beginning of the previous way (“he probably wants to annoy me on purpose, he must be just mean to his brother / sister, he does not appreciate What he has “). Therefore, creating empathy for him is difficult but it is very important on the way to getting the desired result for you.
Think of such a situation – you talk to a service representative and complain about a problem. The service representative is simply not willing to listen to your side and asserts that there is no problem. You call again, another service representative answers you and he tries to understand your problem and find solutions that will satisfy you, even though he also claims that there is no problem. Which conversation will make you happier? Of course from the conversation with the second representative, because even though they both claimed there was no problem, the other representative was willing to hear your side and tried to solve the problem as much as possible, which the first representative did not do. This is how the interaction with your child works.
If you do not try to understand him, just shout at him and get angry, he will close in front of you and you in his face. Parenting is a matter of reference and attention. If the child does not accept these things, he will do everything to accept her, which is also bad. When we develop empathy for him, we give him a positive attitude and his behavior will be positive.
Behavioral problems – a lot of patience
Patience is not bought in any store so you have to find it yourself. Patience is to let the child process your request. Studies have shown that a child up to the age of 7 takes almost 20 seconds to process a request and start responding to it. Therefore, it is important to wait a minute to see if the child really understands what you have asked of him. Sometimes, the child will do something extra until he starts doing what you asked for. Give him a moment. It’s his time to figure out what you’re asking for. If immediately afterwards he does not do what you asked, he may not have understood and then asked again.
Of course, this does not always work because in the end, our children are humans and not robots but it is worth a try.